The Mountains
by Black Dragon5
Summary: DONT SPAM ME WITH COMPLAINTS *Chapter 2*
1. Default Chapter

Barret,Tifa,Red: Cloud... what the fuck?  
  
Sephiroth: ...  
  
Cloud: its not my fault that the tires suck...  
  
Tifa: theres not a damn thing wrong with the tires...  
  
Barret: God damn it, let me drive. *Tries to push Cloud out of his way with his blubber*  
  
Cloud: Get the fuck off me you fat ass gaylord fauker!!!  
  
Barret: (says in taunting voice) If you dont let me drive ill fart again!  
  
Sephiroth: ...  
  
Tifa & Red: let him drive!  
  
Cloud: Fuck no... just beca...  
  
Barret: *FART*  
  
Cloud: Oh God that smells like ***passes out***  
  
Barret: Yea!  
  
(Barret moves to the front while cloud goes to the back, causing the all the tires in the car to go flat)  
  
Barret: doh! *part of blubber hits sephiroth in the face*  
  
Sephiroth: *wakes up from a slumber* Ok... I wake up, it smells like shit and a retarded person is driving us the neiblehem mountains at 80 mph.  
  
Barret: But...  
  
Sephiroth: *puts sword through the seat*  
  
Barret: *dies*  
  
Sephiroth: *throws barrets' fat body out the car window* there.... were 1000 pounds lighter.... maybe we can get some better milage now...  
  
(Barrets' body rolls down the mountain and demolishes neiblehem again)  
  
Cloud: my hometown! you bastard!  
  
Kyle: *jumps on the winshield*  
  
Everyone: AHHHH!!!!!  
  
Kyle: you stole my line! You bastard!  
  
Kenny: *walks in the middle of the street and get squished by the car*  
  
Kyle: you killed kenny you....  
  
Sephiroth: *reaches forward and pulls on the emergency brake*  
  
Kyle: *NUAAAHHHHHH*  
  
(Everyone flies and hits the dash besides sephiroth)  
  
Cloud: IM GONA KILL YO....  
  
Sephiroth: Oh shut up  
  
Cloud: yes sir  
  
Tifa: *sweat drop* Dont let sephiroth controll you like tha...  
  
Sephiroth: SHUT UP  
  
Tifa: yes sir  
  
Cloud: *Sweat drop*  
  
Red: my arms hurt...  
  
Cloud: ^.^;; you dont have arms!  
  
Red: ^.^;; oh ya  
  
*Car reaches peak of the 1st of 100 mountains*  
  
Cloud: CAN WE STOP!!! I NEED TO GO PEE PEE  
  
Sephiroth: *jumps in driver seat* Shiney!!! *puts finger half way down to push horn*  
  
Cloud: BAAAAATTTHHHHH RRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOMMMMMMMMMM  
  
Sephiroth: *finger stops going toward button and stomps on the brake*  
  
Cloud: *flies through the winshield* SEPHIROTH WHAT THE FUCK ARE YO....  
  
Sephiroth: *puts his foot on the gas peddal to the floorbord* (thinks to himself is this smart?)  
  
*Car crushes Clouds legs*  
  
Cloud: MY LEGS!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *stomps on breaks, and floors it in reverse*  
  
Cloud: *random image of Starwars pops into clouds head: USE THE FORCE CLOUD* IM GONA KILL YOU WITH THE FORCE!!!  
  
*Cloud bens over as a sound of a foghorn is heard comming out of his ass; Car flys down the mountain and everyone but sephiroth jumps out*  
  
Sephiroth: IM NOT DONE WITH YOU YETTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT *BOOM*  
  
*Sounds of Kyle beating the shit out of Sephiroth are heard*  
  
Cloud: HAHA!!!!  
  
Red: Man... I feal sorry for that loser!!!  
  
*Sephiroths sword flies like a javalon and pieces through the head of Red*  
  
Sephiroth: *blasts ultima at kyle* Runs up mountain  
  
Cloud: *grabs Sephiroths sword* ILL KILL YOU WITH IT!!!  
  
Sephiroth: (panting) givvvve me...  
  
Cloud: *swings and cuts off sephiroths' pinky finger*  
  
Sephiroth: OMG!!! MY FINGER!!! AHHHHHHH IM GONA DIE!!!!!! AHHHHH!!!!!  
  
Cloud: *laughs*  
  
Sephiroth: MOMMY!!!!  
  
Tifa: Quit being a baby...  
  
*Aeris walks from the shadows and into view*  
  
Cloud: *mouth drops, and drops sword*  
  
Sephiroth: *runs, picks up his sword, and in 1 instant jumps up in the air and puts sword through   
the back of aeris*  
  
Aeris: *Dies*  
  
Sephiroth: *laughs at cloud, and pulls sword out of her back and walks away toward a "Warning:   
Extreme Fall Ahead" sign*  
  
Cloud: *runs toward Sephiroth with rage in his head*  
  
Sephiroth: *stops* hahahaha... Its funny that she died..... you will too... just wait and se.....  
  
*Cloud pushes Sephiroth off the cliff*  
  
Sephiroth: *Dies*  
  
*Cut scene in hell*  
  
Satan: BUAHAHAHAHAHA Greg Flagge eh? hrm.... 10,000 years of burning for you *pulls cord*  
  
Greg: NA NNA NOOOOOOOOOOOOO *falls into open flames and seems to melt away*  
  
Sephiroth: *gulp*  
  
Satan: NEXT!  
  
Sephiroth: Sephiroth  
  
Satan: hrm... lets see... eternity of burning for you! BWAHAHAHAHHAHAHA  
  
Sephiroth: BUT BUT BUT I CAN BE YOUR... UM.... SIDEKICK???  
  
Satan:... *pulls cord without saying a word*  
  
Sephiroth: *jumps out of way of opening door*  
  
Satan: WHA!???  
  
Sephiroth: *Slahes Satan into 300 pieces and dusts them up* time to burn for eternity your   
fucking self!!!  
  
Satan: *thinks to himself: mommy!!*  
  
Sephiroth: *Throws remains of Satan into his own fire pit* HAHA!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *sits down in throne*  
  
*Back on earth*  
  
Cloud: I betcha Sephiroth is getting tortured! *laughs*  
  
Red: *stops eating aeris' dead body* what'd you say?  
  
Cloud: !?  
  
Cloud: *Runs full speed at red and hits hit with his fist*  
  
Red: *Flys backwards* WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT FOR???  
  
Cloud: your eating Aeris!!!  
  
Red: SO???? SHES DEAD ANYWAY!!! BESIDES I GOTTA EAT RIGHT???  
  
*Buggy full of Southpark characters pulls up*  
  
Cartman: RESPECT MY MOTHA FUCKIN AUTHORITAHHHHHH!!!!! *pulls out AKA-47 and spreys them down*  
  
Cloud: um... yea...  
  
Red: *gets shot in the head* *dies*  
  
*Half blown up kyle crawls up mountain*  
  
Cloud: ^.^;; *Runs as fast as he can and kicks Kyle in the head*  
  
Kyle: DAMN YOU FUCKKEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR  
  
Cloud: *summons Choboco & mog*  
  
*Fat choboco appears in the distance and lands on kyle*  
  
Kyle: *dies* 


	2. The Mountains (Chapter 2)

Cloud: Woohoo!! Got him in 1!  
  
Sephiroth follower: The "GATHERING" is comming soon!  
  
Cloud: ?  
  
Sephiroth follower: THE GATHERING!!! CAN'T YOU UNDERSTAND ME?!?!?  
  
Cloud: yes... but.... where.... when...  
  
Sephiroth follower: *Forgets* Somewhere ^.^;;  
  
Cloud: ...  
  
Tifa: Ok... that makes no sense... some random man comes up and tells us there's going to be a gathering....  
  
(Tifa and Cloud try to figure it out when in back in the distance there is a sign saying: THE GATHERING !!!! 5 MILES ^ )  
  
Cloud: Damn... I'm stumped... *leans against sign* if only we had a clue...  
  
*Cut scene in hell*  
  
Sephiroth: Jeeze... it's sure boring as hell down here...  
  
Sadam: Ironic choice of words!  
  
Sephiroth: Oh god... not him again...  
  
Sadam: YES IT IS I!!!! SADAM!!!! FEAR ME!!!!  
  
Sephiroth: *presses big button that says: TO EARTH* finally.... i'm outta here....  
  
Sadam: NOOOOOOO DON'T LEAVE MMEEEEEEEE!!! *Sephiroth disappears* damn.....  
  
*Back on earth*  
  
Cloud: I'm glad Sephiroth is gone...  
  
Tifa: Me too...  
  
(Rumbling)  
  
Cloud: Hrm.... what the hell is that...  
  
Tifa: It can't be..... Barret??  
  
(Ground opens up and out rises Sephiroth)  
  
Cloud & Tifa: EEEKKK!!!  
  
Sephiroth: MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* *gag* MUAHAHAHAHA  
  
Cloud: HAHA!!!  
  
Tifa: Oh God.... not him again...  
  
*looks at red*  
  
Cloud: I didn't do it....  
  
Tifa: *cough* lier *cough*  
  
Cloud: SHUT UP BITC.... *Tifa smacks him*  
  
Sephiroth: *Chuckles*  
  
Cloud: *sticks arm out toward red* Life3!!!  
  
(nothing happens)  
  
Sephiroth: *summons ultima and blows up Reds' body* heh....  
  
Cloud: YOU BASTARD!!!  
  
Sephiroth *Barrier*  
  
(Cloud runs into the barrier and breaks his nose)  
  
Cloud: OWWWW MY NOSEY!!!!!!!! *hits barrier with sword and shatters*  
  
(Barrier wears off)  
  
Tifa: *Runs up and boots Sephiroth in the nuts*  
  
Sephiroth: *crouches, falls over sideways, holding his crotch*  
  
Cloud: HAHA!!!!  
  
Tifa: Aw.... I'm sorry Sephiroth.... I shoulda done this!!!! *Kicks Sephiroth in the face*  
  
Sephiroth: *Unconcious*  
  
Cloud: Man... I was ready to kick his ass too...  
  
Tifa: I can always use cure3 on him...  
  
Cloud: No thanks...  
  
Tifa: Well... this is no fun...  
  
Cloud: I still need to go pee pee...*looks at his pants* ..... oh.... wait...... too late....  
  
Tifa: Ewww...... gross.... I'm going down there to revive Barret...  
  
*Down at Neibelheim*  
  
Tifa: *Searches for Barret through the flat houses*  
  
Cloud: There he is!!! *points at the bloody blob of lard*  
  
Tifa: LIFE3!!!  
  
Barret: Ugh...  
  
(Rumble)  
  
Barret: ?  
  
Cloud: ?  
  
Tifa: ?  
  
(To Be Continued) 


End file.
